Is Speed Dating Still A Thing In Malaysia?

 

 

Wait, is speed dating still a thing these days? Do people even do speed dating here in Malaysia? Is it legal? 

 

Yes, it’s still legal…for now. With the pandemic fading away, it seems like everyone is trying out new ways to meet people, and with the rise of dating apps like Bumble and Tinder the options (and matches) are endless! But what about speed dating? Is it safe? Is it really worth your time and effort? 

 

What Is Speed Dating?

Speed dating is a social event designed to allow single people to meet and find a potential romantic match. This type of event was first gained popularity back in 1998 to help single people assess romantic potential more quickly and easily than through traditional dating. Despite the rise in the popularity of dating apps, speed dating is still a fairly common way to meet new people—especially for those who prefer to start with an in-person connection.

 

 

Speed dating is, as its name implies, quick. This can relieve stress for some because each miniature date only lasts for a few minutes. If you feel like you’re getting along well with someone, you can indicate your interest at the end of the event and see if it’s mutual. However, if one of your dates is going poorly, you only have to bear with it for a few more minutes until it’s over and you can move on to the next one.

 

Oftentimes, speed dating events will have certain requirements to attend (such as an age range, career type, religion, or sexual orientation). Here at Howei we try to make it as non-discriminatory as possible, so while there is still a balance of genders and an age range, the venue and F&B options are pork free and vegetarian friendly. 

 

So why shouldn’t you go speed dating in Malaysia? 

 

The Disadvantages of Speed Dating

• Sometimes it can be overwhelming and hard to remember everyone’s names, especially if they have some weird complicated ones
• People may lie about themselves or talk themselves up
• There is always the potential for awkwardness if someone doesn’t want to talk to you or if the conversation dries up!

 

Personally, I have trouble remembering the simplest Chinese names, because especially for those that don’t speak or write mandarin, it isn’t easy to contextualise or employ tricks to link it with other items in my memory. 

 

Furthermore, a lot of Chinese names in Malaysia sound similar or have the same characters, e.g. Khai Jun, Wen Kai, Jun Jie, Yi Ling, Xing Yi. 

 

Fortunately, speed dating events have name tags so just try not to stare for too long at people’s name tags or they may get the wrong idea. 

 

And don’t worry, there are plenty of good things about speed dating here in Malaysia to offset the awkwardness. 

 

The Advantages of Speed Dating

• You get to meet a lot of people in one go
• It’s a great way to gauge someone’s personality early on
• If you don’t fancy someone, you can move onto the next person quickly
• It’s fun!

 

Speed dating can be a positive and rewarding experience. During a speed dating event, you’ll get to have short, one-on-one conversations with several people. At the end of the event, you’ll be asked to indicate whether you’re interested in seeing anyone you’ve chatted with again. If you and another person both mark that you’d like to meet up, you can choose to exchange contact information. 

 

Many people like that speed dating presents an opportunity to gauge potential matches without the pressure that may come with a full-length date. However, the experience can be nerve-wracking, uncomfortable, and even anxiety-producing for some. That said, here are several tips you can take to prepare yourself for a more positive speed dating experience.

 

Tips For Getting The Most Out Of Speed Dating

Of course everyone is nervous and afraid of embarrassing themselves in public, but at the very least, you’ll have met some new people, and had some decent food and drink. To help you combat nervousness and get the most out of the experience, try some of the following tips. 

 

Stay Engaged

“Dates” at an event like this usually last between five and ten minutes. You can maximize that brief time by staying engaged and present with each person. First, put your phone away; even having it face down on the table can be distracting. 89% of participants in one of our past surveys say that someone took a phone out during their last interaction, and 82% said it deteriorated the conversation. 

 

Next, practice active listening by making eye contact, nodding, and using other encouraging body language, listening without judgment, and ask follow-up questions as needed. In one study, participants who were partnered with someone who practiced active listening were more likely to be satisfied with the conversation, and more likely to say that their partner was socially attractive.

 

Ask Good Questions

The speed dating event organizers may offer you a list of questions to ask people if you need a little inspiration. Either way, going in with a few good questions of your own at the ready can also help you feel more confident and cultivate fun and meaningful conversations with people. Google is your friend! 

 

Apart from the obvious personal background questions, here are a few you can try: 

 

• What makes you happy/sad/angry?
• Are you more of a city or kampung (country) person?
• How would your best friend describe you?
• What is your dream job?
• What colour best describes your personality?
• What are you most passionate about in your life? 
• What do you consider your best attributes? 

 

While it can be helpful to learn about the basics like a person’s job and where they’re from, you might both benefit from going a bit deeper. For instance, consider asking them about their passions—like what they could talk about for half an hour without preparation, who the most important person in their life is, and which of their current personal goals most excites them. Questions like these can help you get to know them on a more intimate level, even in a short time.

 

Be True To Yourself

We all want to put our best foot forward when meeting someone new—especially in a dating situation. However, don’t let the desire to impress make you present yourself as someone you’re not. Stay true to who you are and offer your authentic self, and you’re likely to have more success. In fact, one study found that relationships built on accurate self-representation tend to last longer. 

 

Keep An Open Mind

While trying to force a match where it doesn’t exist isn’t recommended, it’s usually a good idea to keep an open mind when going into an event like this. You may have a specific type of person you tend to gravitate towards, but try not to get tunnel vision to the point where you disregard someone different who could potentially still be a good match. Changing your perspective a bit may help. Instead of evaluating dating potential, an article on the blog of the popular dating app Bumble suggests first asking yourself, “Could I be friends with this person?” After all, many romantic relationships develop from friendships first.

 

Don’t Put Pressure On Yourself

At a single speed dating event, you’re likely to meet as many as 5–15 new people—perhaps even more. If you don’t click or match with someone (or anyone) at an event, that’s okay. It’s still a good experience to put yourself out there and meet new people, and you can always attend another event with a new pool of people. Plus, if you decide this dating format just isn’t for you, there are other ways to meet someone. You might try volunteering, joining a club, or otherwise exposing yourself to like-minded individuals, or going back to those dating sites or apps.

 

Speed Dating And Anxiety

Many people experience nervousness before attending a speed dating event. Preparing before the event can alleviate worry for some, as can wearing an outfit you feel confident in, keeping a good perspective on the stakes of the event, and practicing calming breathing techniques. That said, those with anxiety disorders—especially social anxiety—may find that speed dating is triggering. In this case, it can be beneficial to consider other forms of dating that come with a bit less stress—such as online dating, where you can get to know someone outside of real time without the pressure from physical presence. You may also benefit from speaking with a therapist to address your symptoms and learn how you may be able to make your dating experiences more positive. 

 

So what are you waiting for? 

 

Isn’t it about time for you to get out there and meet people yourself by registering for one of our speed dating events? 

 

There are tons of opportunities you can seize upon riding the wave of event popularity. Join us at Howei today if you’re keen to start your own journey. 

 

_{Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Howei. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.}

 

Source: Howei.com