Penang Bridge Half Marathon Is Worst Value HM

So you’ve joined the Penang Bridge International Marathon (PBIM), the largest annual run event in the northern peninsula of Malaysia. The infamous marathon in Penang that is making a comeback after a two-year mystery hiatus. Please tell me you didn’t join the Half Marathon (that’s the 21km one, for those of you playing at home).

For those of you waking up at some ungodly hour to get to Queensbay Mall by 3am, you should realise that you’re being heinously shortchanged, bamboozled out of your precious sleep and sanity. And some money.

In case you don’t know, the race categories are:

Full Marathon (42km)
Half Marathon (21km)
10km Run (Open/Junior)

You can expect a turnout of about 25,000 runners, with a nice mishmash of competitive champions, casual runners and serious cosplayers.

And here is the schedule for the PBIM just in case you’re not sure what time yours starts.

CATEGORY	STARTING TIME	FINISHING TIME	QUALIFYING HOURS	QUALIFYING ENTITLEMENTS
Full Marathon (Men & Women, Veteran)	1.30am	8.30am	7 hours	Finisher Tee, Finisher Medal, Lucky Draw, E-Certificate
Half Marathon (Men & Women, Veteran)	3.00am	6.45am	3 hours 45 minutes	Finisher Tee, Finisher Medal, Lucky Draw, E-Certificate
10km Run (Men, Women, Boys and Girls)	6.30am	8.15am	1 hours 45 minutes	Finisher Tee, Finisher Medal, Lucky Draw, E-Certificate

And what is so very wrong with the Half Marathon (HM), you ask?

There is nothing wrong with the HM in general, but have you ever gazed longingly into the carnal curves of the PBIM route map?

Here it is for those of you playing at home without access to the internet. (Wait, how are you even reading this?)

Now I want you to focus on the fuchsia outline, the one that represents the endless path of suffering you will be experiencing in the dead of night, in the bleak darkness of self-doubt and soreness.

And as you hone in on the meek magenta route which has no arrows of its own, ask yourself one question: what is the name of this event?

Now remember for the Penang Bridge International Marathon, the Penang Bridge will be temporarily closed to traffic on the 10th and 11th of December 2022.

No, this writer does not have ADHD. I am simply reiterating the name of the event for you, and the main overarching theme of this hackneyed celebration of Penang culture: the Penang Bridge.

Answer me this: how much of the Penang Bridge do you get to run on for the Half Marathon category?

If you’d like some comparison, a benchmark or banana for scale, you need look no further than the jealous jade line that does a funky little loop over the others. That is the 10km run route, which is not allowed to be fun.

Notice the turning point, the subtle off-green colouring, the tasteful thickness of that line. Also notice that the return point is the same as that of the HM one.

You barely even run a quarter of the way up the Penang Bridge!

And you have to start running at the worst time!

Why am I shouting!?

Now remember that the PBIM has been doing this for decades (except the last two); for years they have deceived runners into believing the HM is some grand affair that bestows the most majestic view of Penang Bridge and its surrounding, with the prospect of seeing the sun rise over the eastern seaboard.

Well, sorry to be that guy but newsflash - the sun won’t even have risen by the time you finish your hefty HM. You have to cross that finish line before 6:45am, otherwise some sleep-deprived jerk-off is going to spit in your face and not give you a medal.

And so in conclusion, that is why the PBIM Half Marathon category specifically is the worst HM of the officially sanctioned ones in this part of the globe.

Now if you are one of those stinky motorists trying to get places on a Sunday morning then be prepared to use the Sultan Abdul Halim Muad'zam Shah Bridge (Second Penang Bridge) as an alternative route or be prepared to sit in your own air-conditioned stench for hours.

The road closures will involve the Queensbay area and the Tun Dr Lim Chong Eu Expressway heading to George Town. All vehicles heading to the Penang International Airport (LTAPP) and Batu Maung will be diverted to Jalan Sultan Azlan Shah.

All motorists that intend to travel through the affected-areas during the PBIM period are advised to plan their journey and use alternative roads to reach their destinations, instead of sitting for hours at closed junctions like buffoons watching thousands of people run past. If you’re going to be stuck there, at least cheer for those poor runners pounding the paths nice and flat for your big petrol guzzlers.

Those who want to watch or participate in PBIM are advised to park their vehicles in the area provided by the organiser or to use the public transport system to avoid congestion.

So what are you waiting for?

Isn’t it about time for you to test (and torture) yourself by registering for one of our run events?

There are tons of opportunities you can seize upon riding the wave of event popularity. Join us at Howei today if you’re keen to start your own journey.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Howei. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.

Source: https://www.penangmarathon.gov.my/portal/3d-flip-book/pbim-guidebook/